I cover this in my dating ebook, but many daters aren’t fully aware of what they’re like on a date, yes, this also applies to the dating bloggers. We love to show up and expect the other person to “do all the work” on the date–then you hear things from your friends like, “Oh, he wasn’t interesting enough,” or “God, his penis was too small!” Sorry, the last one was just to make sure you’re paying attention. But it’s true, we place such a high expectation on the other person and when they don’t meet this “unobtainable goal” we check out mentally and move on to the next person and unfortunately repeat the same dysfunctional pattern.
It’s important to figure out why you’re dating in the first place. Is it for sex? Companionship? Because you’re bored? And it really doesn’t matter what the reason, you can have fun on dates no matter what — if you first create an intent. (And the great thing, creating an intent is something you can and should be doing outside of the dating arena)
Let’s say you’re about to go out on a date with Larry the Plumber, your intent may look something like:
Intent for Larry the Plumber:
1. To be on time.
2. Participate in the conversation.
3. Learn new and interesting things about Larry.
4. Have Larry discover new and interesting facts about me.
5. Enjoy a night out in (insert city you’re in).
6. Ask abut plumbing.
7. Create an authentic connection with Larry.
Your list will vary, depending on what you want to accomplish that night. If it’s a sugar daddy you’re looking for:
Intent for Larry the Plumber, my future Sugar Daddy
1. To turn Larry on
2. To keep brushing his leg with my left pinkie toe.
3. Allowing my push-up bra to do most of the talking.
(Gays, this work for us too–except we’d be doing naughty & suggestive things with a straw, our tongue, and half a pack of gum)
You get my point–I’m not here to judge–but you really need to be aware of what you do on a date and set your expectations accordingly. And one final point, don’t be attached to the outcome. Notice that in the first example I didn’t end the intent with, “a second date” or in the last example with “I’ll move in with Larry and quite the stripper gig tomorrow.” If you do become attached to the outcome, “wishing, hoping, and praying” it won’t work. This goes against the law of attraction, but if you truly hang on to the idea of your outcome, the future won’t be too happy for you or for Larry. In fact, I really hope Larry’s reading!
How do you see creating an intent and taking responsibility for your dating life fitting into your plan? Leave a comment.